Yesterday morning I had a 9:30 AM appointment at The Saban Free Clinic to give blood for cholesterol screening. I wasn't seen until 10:30 AM. During the hour-long wait, I read interesting articles in L.A. Weekly. And I listened to a crying baby. And an old woman who appeared homeless. And a host of other sounds I would rather not have had to listen to. But, truth be told: I HAD to listen to them because I have f*cked up! And because I AM f*cked up! Of sorts! What I mean is, I am an intelligent, well-educated, well-versed person who should NOT have to go to a free clinic for medical check-ups, treatments, etc. However, I DO have to go because I can't afford anything else at the moment. And I can't afford anything else at the moment because I have f*cked up my life! Okay, I'm bein' a lil' dramatic, but I MUST take responsibility for NOT having hustled in a SMART way to keep money in my pockets and bank account(s). -- When I walked out of the clinic yesterday, I said to God, "I'm tired of being poor. Out-and-out TIRED!" And the buck CAN and WILL stop HERE! NOW! I haven't read Rich Dad, Poor Dad yet, but I think I'm gonna borrow it from the library later today. -- I spoke on the phone earlier to Madeline and my heart broke that I couldn't offer her and the boys a place to stay during their visit to L.A. next week. It broke because I can't afford to put them up in a hotel either. I mean, I am 46 yrs old and bright and resourceful and kind and a host of other things that should put me in a position to take EXCELLENT care of them during their visit. And during their ENTIRE lives!!! It's obvious that doing for myself isn't enough motivation for me to be a phenomenal provider like my incredible father. So, I'm gonna have to STEP UP so that I can provide for OTHERS! I have my work cut out for me later today. So, let it be written. So, let it be done! CHANGE is a-comin'!!!! POSITIVE CHANGE! LUCRATIVE CHANGE! WELCOMED CHANGE!