Thursday, January 26, 2012

Less Than Infinite

I am 48 yrs old.  I don't suspect I have another 48 yrs on the other side.  Thus, I'm in a tailspin, trying to figure out what it is I truly love doing.  Wait a minute!  I know what I love.  But believing I can earn a living DOING it is the hurdle I need to clear.  Every day I go to my Facebook page, someone has posted a message to believe in yourself.  My pastor.  Friends.  Acquaintances.  Everybody has a message along those lines.  But NONE of those messages provide a step-by-step means of accomplishing that task.  So, I have to sit still.  In silence. And think about how to achieve that elusive goal.  I know I'm intelligent.  I know I'm thoughtful.  I know how to set a goal and map out the steps toward achieving it.  However, what I know I know I'm second-guessing!  What the hell!!!  And time is of the essence.  I don't have an infinite amount of time to keep messin' around with this foolishness.  Over the years I've spread myself thin.  One day I'm a sitcom writer.  Then another I'm an actor or a voice-over artist or a talent manager or a screenplay writer.  Geez!  No wonder nothing has popped off just yet, 'cause I've given my time to everything and its mama, instead of simply zeroing in on ONE thing and blowing it up!!!!  Yes, I talked about Tyler Perry telling "me" to focus on one thing.  And, I know he's right.  So, today, Thursday, January 26th, 2012, I'm declaring ONE avenue to travel.  Pushing my energies down ONE path.  I want desperately to be in a position to pay for a glorious, 50th birthday dinner here in L.A and back in Indiana.  That's only a little over a year and a half away. --- Dear God, I know I have what it takes to live the life I want.  So, please, please, please help me align myself with my destiny.  'Cause, truth be told, I've been deviating from its path for far too long.  And that HAS to stop!  'Cause I only have a FINITE amount of time left.  And I wanna spend that time LIVING & LOVING at the HIGHEST level I'm DESTINED to!!!!!

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