Someone Like Me

My volunteer work almost got to me today.  Honestly, I enjoy the work a great deal.  I truly do.  But today...well, today it sort of made me blue.  While sitting with four of the residents on the dementia/Alzheimer's floor, my world was thrown into a tizzy.  One of the women was screaming, "I wanna go home."  Another was speaking harshly to me about something.  What?  I didn't really comprehend.  Another was talking about something else that I couldn't really grasp either because of trying to tend to the other two.  The fourth woman...well, I don't recall what she was doing because, for a split second, I was frazzled.  I eventually got myself together and grabbed one of the women by the hand and began walking her around the facility.  When I did this, I told the others I'd be back and, except for the woman who wanted to go home, everyone else calmed down.  --- There are people who live day in and day out with family members who have Alzheimer's and/or dementia.  Heck, my younger sister did.  I truly tip my hat to those who can do it.  It's like raising a toddler again because I want to keep my eye on them at every moment.  No, I don't fret about them wandering off because all stairwells and elevators are secured by a coded system.  And since nobody has given the residents the code, none of the residents can leave the floor.  But I do sorta worry about their safety more than I probably should.  I am getting to know them pretty well.  Or, as well as they'll allow.  I find the time I spend on the dementia/Alzheimer's floor is the most challenging volunteer work I've ever done.  Some of the people there appear to be as lucid as anybody else I know.  It's confusing.  Well, I'm gonna keep going to the residence and keep enjoying the residents.  When they talk to me and I understand them, it's great.  When they talk to me and I don't understand I think it's simply great that I'm there for them to talk to.  I hope & pray I'm never afflicted with dementia or Alzheimer's.  However, if I am, I also hope & pray someone like me comes to spend time with me.

Start Spreadin' The News

I've just gotta give props to one of the best blog writers I've come across on the world wide web.  His name is Rod McCullom.  I'm not really sure HOW I stumbled onto his page, but I'm glad I did.  His blog is so incredibly informative.  It makes me smile and makes me almost wanna cry in equal measure.  It isn't mean-spirited like 100% of the celebrity-obsessed blogs.  It informs its readers about the happenings all over the country---the WORLD---in regard to black, gay issues.  Much of what I've read there I would never have known if Rod didn't share the information.  Kudos to him for doing such a great job.  And although his musings are sometimes as stereotypically obsessed with superficial, male beauty (that means, MUSCLES) as most of the other "gay" blogs, I still say giving his page a look on a daily/weekly basis is just what the doctor ordered!  Lol!  His terrific blog is HERE!

Now I'm Born Again

I'm in the process of changing my lifestyle.

What In The World...?

Every day I read about some horrific murder or about a blatant injustice toward another human being.  Why?  Why is this world filled with such hate?  Honestly, I can't watch news broadcasts anymore because they make it a point to show me humanity at its lowest.  Yes, from time to time, they toss in an inspirational message, but those times are woefully few & far between.  I just wonder why soooo many people on this planet feel soooo incredibly less than the people they actually are.  The only viable solution I can think of to cease this kind of unhappiness is for each and every one of us on this planet to treat his neighbor as he'd like to be treated.  Plain and simple.  It seems like such an easy thing to do.  Why won't people do it?  Well, I'll continue doing MY part.  And, hopefully, how people feel when they're in my presence will compel them to treat others the same way.  Nobody is pure evil.  Nobody.  So, I'm gonna keep pouring on the love to everybody I meet until the loving side of 'em comes on out.  It may take a minute, but I don't plan on goin' anywhere anytime soon!  So, I can wait!!! :)

Yes, Indeed, They Are

January 2011 is rapidly merging into February and I am holding steady on my quest toward professional/financial/personal fulfillment.  Yes, my life will always be a work-in-progress; so, I'll never be 100% everything I CAN be.  But, I must admit, I'm lookin' forward to advancing to at least 95%!  Haa!  Just like good times, "bad" times don't last always either!! 

I Must

In order for me to change my life into the life I want to live, it's blatantly apparent to me that I must DEFY...

So let it be written.  So let it be done.

Straight Shooter

My dear friend, TYSHAWN, is my dear friend because he only speaks the truth TO me.  ABOUT me!  He told me today that I MUST enjoy the life I'm currently living or I'd DO something else with it!  Point blank.  And, as hard as that kind of brutal honesty is to hear, I NEED to hear it.  And I need to DO something ABOUT it!  Ohhh, I can't let his enormous smile fool me.  He means business behind his gleaming white 32!  The fella cares about me and wants me to be happy.  However, he all but told me today that my being happy is SOLELY up to ME!  I know.  I know.  And now I must DO.  I must DO!  DO nothing and I'll CHANGE nothing!  Period. 

Well, You Asked

Question: What's the one thing about me most people don't know?

Answer:

To Lube Or Not To Lube, That Is The Question

Couldn't have done said it better myself!
But the black & gold are BAAAAAAAAAAACK in the mix!

But What Does He Really Look Like?

It has always annoyed me when I look at a news broadcast and the anchor is telling us about a criminal suspect who has eluded the police.  The anchor tells us to be on the lookout for the suspect.  However, WON'T tell us what color or ethnic background the person might be.  How am I supposed to know what he looks like if all I'm told is that he's tall with long, brown hair, wearing a leather jacket?  In catering, I used to marvel at my white coworkers who would direct me to refill the wine glass of the lady wearing the green dress with the red and yellow polka dots, sitting next to the man with the white shirt and red tie.  I'd look at the table and see that the coworker was referring to the ONLY black woman at the table.  I'd ask, "Why didn't you just say the black lady?"  They'd always reply, "I didn't wanna bring race into it."  Geez!  Wouldn't it have saved 'em a lot of breath if they'd just say what she LOOKED like?  I feel the same way about these news anchors.  Is the criminal suspect latino, black, white, asian?  Nobody will be offended if we're given as much physical description about a suspect as possible.  NOBODY!  Geez!

If You Haven't Got Something Nice To Say...

There are television critics.  Film critics.  Literary critics.  Music critics.  Mean-spirited blog commenters (who criticize EVERTHING).  NONE of these people's opinions mean ANYTHING to me.  NONE of 'em!!!  What I dare to DO cannot be minimized by the opinions of those who DON'T do!  Over the years I've had to accept that folks will voice their displeasure with what I do or have done for as long as I live.  There are no two ways around that.  So...I've made the conscious decision to do what I do and keep it movin'.  'Cause like the old saying goes: What other folks think of [me] is none of [my] business!  And also because...

And being nothing is NOT an option in my book!!!!!

G'day Mate

Last month, OPRAH took 300 of her ultimate viewers along with her on her first visit to Australia.  Their week-long visit is being shown this entire week on her show.  And goodness gracious, it looks like those folks had the time of their lives!  I mean, the Australian government pulled out all the stops to ensure Oprah & Co. saw Australia the way NO tourist ever will.  Heck, I'll bet NATIVES haven't seen the continent like she and her guests did!  Honestly, the woman astounds me.  And inspires me in equal measure.  I'm an ultimate viewer, too, and, yes, I wish I had gone on that friggin' trip!!!  I'm not envious of those who did.  Great for them!  But I still wish I had gone, too!!

Some Things Never Change

And I'm all right with that.

Happens To The Best Of Us

After seven years of togetherness one of my friends is currently living in the wake of a situation that NOBODY wants to find himself in.  NOBODY!  However, if we live long enough, ALL of us are likely to find ourselves on the wrong side of one of the most horrific statements ever uttered.

 

Damn!  Damn!  Damn!

What Bores Me Most These Days????

PERIOD.

Hungrier Than A M*#$%^@!

It's a little after 1 AM and I'm a hungry mofo right about now!  Instead of going to the fridge to snack on some nuts or something light like that, I'm gonna go into the kitchen and make a full-out meal:  ground beef and pasta!  And, yes, afterward, I'm takin' my 47-yr-old butt to BED!  I am sooooooooooo thankful to God and His Universe for my family.  And for my friends.  And for my friggin' METABOLISM!!!

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

This June I'll be returning back to my college alma mater, Wabash College, to lead a discussion of my choosing.  Of course, it would make me leap for joy if my "lecture" could impact people the way the late Andy Pausch's did.  However, Andy was Andy.  And I am NOT Andy!  Lol!  I will simply talk to whomever comes to hear me about---life.  My life!  And how I've come to be the man I am today.  A part of me is a little nervous about standing in front of a bunch of intellectuals, but I'm gonna do it.  I'm sure I'll be just fine.  'Cause I'm gonna talk about life.  Plain and simple.  Those who are with me will be with me.  And those who aren't...well, those who aren't can...discover I have something inspirational to say to them, too!!!!!!!!!!  --- My biggest concern, though, is whether or not I can be interesting for 45 minutes WITHOUT audio & visual aids!!!  I think I'd better learn some PowerPoint skills just in case!  :)

Just Keepin' It Real

Whenever family or friends come to me with a concern/problem, I can vividly see what they should do to solve their dilemma.  However, when it comes to  MY life---truth be told---waaaay too often...

He Had A Dream

Wherever Martin Luther King Jr is at this moment, I wonder what he thinks of this nation's racial climate today.  I truly wonder.

Dr. Feel Good

My friend, Jay, is truly a phenomenal brotha!  Truly!  I just received his tardy, Christmas card the other day and marveled at how beautiful his family is.  His older boy is now 6'5" and attends Jay and my college's archrival:  DePauw University!!!  His daughter stands 5'8" and his younger son has grown up, too!  His wife, Maureen, is still stunning after dang near 20+ years of marriage.  I'm tellin' you, the fella has ALWAYS been a SUPERSTAR!  ALWAYS!  I look forward to reconnecting with him---face-to-face---sometime this year.  It's good to know that the folks from "back home" are still the folks I love and admire most!  These "big city slickers" I've met over the years have, for the most part, been blah!!!!  I'm not from Philly, so Jay is the ONLY "Dr Jay" I've ever cared about.  Haa!!! 

Say A Little Prayer

My heart goes out to the former, homeless man with the "golden" voice:  Ted Williams.  In a ten-day period, he has gone from homeless to a national "celebrity" of sorts.  And he's also just been admitted into a rehab facility.  He's been homeless off and on for the past 20 years.  A chance meeting on the street by a newsman with a camera changed his fortunes overnight.  But didn't change who he actually is.  The real Ted.  The addict, Ted.  I hope & pray he can get it together so that he can live a rich life off the fruits of his "golden" voice.  Alas, though, I clearly see that talent isn't enough to insure we'll live our highest lives.  We have to live righteously, too.  And by righteously, I mean living a life in accord with our highest ideals.  Living honestly.  I'm determined to live that way.  And slowly but surely, I'm getting there.  I wish you well, Mr. Williams.  I wish you well.  I'm gonna say a little prayer for you this very moment.

The Four Seasons Of Love

Yesterday I received my dvd copy of THE FOUR SEASONS!  It's my MOST FAVORITE movie EVER!!!!!!!  Every time I watch it (and I've watched it a million times) I always fantasize about travelling with close friends like the film's lead characters!!!!  Of course, I'd have to get a significant other first!  But aside from that, this film just makes me feel good.  I just might have to watch it again tonight!

Q & A

HOW do I change from simply being alive to LIVING??

By BELIEVING in GOD, MYSELF and ACTING on my IDEAS! --- From this point forward, I'll TALK about my ideas only AFTER I've brought them to FRUITION!  PERIOD!

What The World Needs Now

Every day I read about a new kid or adult who kills another kid or adult, then kills himself.  What is going on?  I think I know.  People are hurting inside.  They feel worthless.  And I truly believe they feel this way because they meausre their self-worth by the material and/or monetary things they have.  Or don't have.  I don't know when I learned this, but one day I learned and accepted that I am more than my bank account or house or car or job or lover.  It's sometimes hard to always remember that, but I eventually come around every time I feel less than because of money or things.  A wise man or woman once said that misery loves company.  Well, every time I hear or read about senseless killings, I clearly see that that wise adage is as true today as it was when it was originally uttered or written.  The ONLY way we as a nation---as a world---are going to live in harmony is if people go back to loving each other.  But only AFTER learning and accepting to love THEMSELVES.  It all starts within each and every one of us.  And, since I'm a man who LIVES on BLIND & STEADFAST FAITH, I choose to believe that we'll get there someday.  I WANT to believe that.  No---I HAVE to believe that!!!   

Put One Foot In Front Of The Other

NOTHING can change for me until I put my ideas to ACTION!  And, in order to reach ANY and EVERY goal I could possibly have, I also have to push FEAR to the side and forge ahead!!!  Yes, I could take prisoners.  But I WON'T!!!  Come this time next year, I WILL NOT be living as I'm currently living because ACTION has become my PRESENT and my FUTURE!  FEAR has become my PAST!  And, quite honestly, I DON'T NOW nor will I EVER miss it!!!!  Steppin' out in FAITH feels good.  And I fully intend to feel this good for the REST of my life!!!!!!!

Headed In A Northerly Direction

This is the 10th day of the New Year and I can already say with a GREAT DEAL OF CONFIDENCE that this ol' boy is moving UP and ON!!!  My North Hollywood existence as I've known it for the past nine years is comin' to a much-desired close; making way for the PHENOMENAL ME to make his debut!  Watch out, world!  I'm a-comin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scene One, Take Two

Last night I assisted my friend, Que, with auditions for his forthcoming table read of a teleplay he's written.  It reminded me of the day Donald and I auditioned actors for our first and only theatrical collaboration back in New York City!  This time, however, I wasn't the Big Kahuna, so, I didn't have to worry about a thing.  Only do what Que asked of me.  The turnout was decent and the talent was all right, too.  Watching some of the performers sweat through their performances was interesting.  It's hard to stand in front of four people, knowing you're being judged.  Despite the fear, the actors did their thing.  I had two favorites!!!  It always makes me feel damn good to see talented people get an opportunity to show off their talent!  I hope something terrific comes of this experience for Que.  And for the actors!!!  There's nothin' "to" it, but to "do" it!!!

Buried Secrets

Over the past two weeks I've heard stories about people I know, or know of, who have died, but their families COULDN'T afford to bury them.  Come again.  I've heard stories recently about people not having enough money for a proper burial.  It got me to thinking.  Many people live in this country who can't afford to live here.  And, when they die, they can't afford to do that, either.  So, what's one to do????  I bet you many home sellers will NEVER truly answer THAT question!!!

Just Breathe...

From time to time I have to stop doing whatever I'm doing and sit or stand alone.  Quietly.  Inhaling and exhaling deep breaths.  I have to do this to keep my head level.  To keep my blood pressure level.  From time to time, thinking about the injustices of the world as handed down from the "haves" makes me feel less than my best.  I don't want to look at a person and feel unkindness toward him because of his "background."  So, from time to time, I have to take myself to a calm place.  Relax.  Get back to God, The Universe & Me.  Then, carry on.

A 2nd Chance

TED WILLIAMS is one, happy fella these days.  Homeless off and on over the past 20 years, he is now an employed voice-over artist, utilizing the supremely terrific voice God gave him.  Drugs and alcohol derailed him from a promising career years ago.  I hope & pray that his "2nd Chance" is THE chance that sets him up for the rest of his life.  I reckon I love his story so much because I, too, feel like this year is going to be MY second chance!!  Dear God, I thank you for Ted's second chance.  And for MINE.  Thank you.

The Voice

Last night I went to record a chapter of my book.  I want to hear what it sounds like as an audio file.  Tonight I'll go back to complete its recording.  Although I'm recording in a makeshift studio, when I'm sitting in it, I feel like I'm at NBC or ABC or CBS!!  I'm determined to make this year the BREAKOUT year for me professionally.  I'm GOING to earn my living doing what I was BORN to do.  TALK.  And WRITE.  That's that.  No two ways around it.  The kid who serves as my recording engineer, JOEY, is a GODSEND!  I fully intend to take him along on my meteoric rise in the world of professional fulfillment!!!  Just watch!

Speechless!

Here it is Wednesday, January 5th, 2011 and people are STILL shocked and/or outraged by the fact that there are gay men and women among us!  For real???  Well, I just watched the latest, music video by Marsha Ambrosius, former member of the group, Floetry, and I have to admit that the visual story told in that video left me SPEECHLESS!  And it warmed my heart at the exact, same time!  WOW!  Although it pains me to say that she and the actors in the video were courageous in making it, realistically, I know they were.  Kudos to them for telling a story that needs to be told.  A story that also needs to be OLD NEWS.  Why's it so hard to do unto others as you'd have them do unto you?  Why?

If I've Said It Once...

My upstairs neighbors are at it again.  No, not making love.  FIGHTING!  Throwing SH*T!  Yelling!  Breaking SH*T!  I hear the chick yelling at him to get out of HER house!  And I hear him yelling back, "You're messin' up things!"  Really???  Keep in mind that this is the same couple who got into a tiff last summer that lead the dude to attempt suicide!  That chick must really be somethin'!  She smiles and speaks when I see her.  I reckon since I'm not the one bangin' her, I don't get to see the REAL her.  And I reckon that's just fine by me!!!  Last year, I would've said that I look forward to the day they move.  But, this year...oh, no.  I don't want THEM to do a DAMN thing!  'Cause THIS year...I'M moving!  And I'm moving into a very, very comfortable and well-appointed abode that I'VE purchased!  Don't know WHEN, but I know I AM!!!!  Until then, though, all I gotta say about my upstairs neighbors is:  Lawd, have mercy!!!!

Happy New YOU!

Touré Roberts, the pastor at my new church home, One Church International, said something today that really struck me.  He said that if we usher in the New Year doing the same thing and being the same person we were in the old year, no new, terrific changes are destined to happen for us.  However, if we enter the new year with a pledge to live differently, with different behavior, eleven months down the road, we'd see GREAT change.  So, instead of saluting folks in the coming days with the same, ol' tired, "Happy New Year," it's probably better to tell 'em, "Happy New You!"  And, I, for one, welcome such a greeting!  And, I, for one, will change last year's behavior so that living differently allows me to receive different BLESSINGS!  Here's to a new ME!  And to a new YOU!  :)

My New Year REVELATION!!!!!!!!!!

No RESOLUTIONS for me this New Year.  Uh, uh!  Instead, this ol' dude has experienced a REVELATION!!!!  Beginning TODAY, JANUARY 1, 2011, I have accepted that MONEY comes to me EASILY & ABUNDANTLY!  Period!

I'm As Bad As They Come - No More Fakin' It!

I rang in the New Year in Manhattan Beach inside the gorgeous home of people who hired the chef who hired me to work their New Year's Eve shindig!  Honestly, the house was spectacular!  Anyway, when the party wrapped and I drove home, all I could think was, this New Year is gonna be MY year!  The beginning of CAM Jr living the life he was BORN to live!  Since I've always been such a television junkie, the song that best sums up what I'm feeling is the theme song of a '70s sitcom!  Oh, some of the song's lyrics are sooooooooooooooo what I'm feelin' right now!

Listen everyone here
This coming year's gonna be my year
I'm as bad as they come
Number two to no one
I've got looks, I've got brains
And I'm breakin' these chains
Make some room now dig what you see
Success is mine
I've got the key
I'm makin' it