Thursday, July 19, 2018

"Featured Engineer" Is My Name

"Dolemite Is My Name"

Earlier today, I was booked for a featured background role in Eddie Murphy's newest film, DOLEMITE IS MY NAME.

My role: "Featured Engineer."

I have no idea what I'll be expected to do in the film, but details are forthcoming!


All I know is that the film stars Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, T.I., Wesley Snipes and a host of other notable, black stars.

I fully intend to have a BLAST on set!

And to eat EVERYTHING in sight!!!!!!

Truth be told, I only accept background work for the FOOD!

Haaaaa! :) :) :) :)

Sunday, July 15, 2018

All About You!


If I had to sum up social media in one word, that word would actually be a combination of TWO words:

SELF-PROMOTION!!!

Social media is a relentless barrage of SELF-PROMOTION.

Please look at my...

Dance performance!

Singing performance!

Theater performance!

Feature film performance!

Television performance!

Sporting performance!

Material possessions!

Vacation photos!

Fit body photos!

Attractive friends photos!

Meal photos!

Political beliefs!

The list goes on and on and on and on ad infinitum!

It has gotten to the point that when I come across folks' incessant self-promo ads, I just click forward to the next post.

To me, social media is one, giant television show. Its users entertain, enlighten and disgust each other in almost equal measure.

I'm fine with that.

But what I'm NOT fine with is an endless bombardment of self commercials!

So, self-promoters, you're on notice.

From this point forward, when I go onto my social media pages, I'm keepin' only ONE eye open.


'Cause this ol' dude has had just about enough of looking at YOU!

And YOU!

And YOU!

And YOU!

And...

Ad infinitum! :)

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Somebody, Call PETA!


Absolutely BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

Absolutely Nobody!


NOBODY wants to put the head in only!

Absolutely NOBODY! ☺☺☺☺

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Who Do You Love?


Earlier today I went to see WHITNEY, the new documentary on the life of Whitney Houston.

HEARTBREAKING!

The film covered aspects of her life from birth to death. And, man, much of the in between was sad.

The lowlights:

1.) Her brother got her started on drugs (pot) at 16.
2.) She met Robyn, the lesbian her family wanted her to have NOTHING to do with, at 16.
3.) She moved out of her house and in with Robyn at 18. Her mother didn't even know where she had moved.
4.) As a child, she was sexually abused by Dionne Warwick's sister, Dee Dee.
5.) Damn near everybody used her as a meal ticket.
6.) She was sexually fluid.
7.) She never truly bonded with her daughter.
8.) Her final tour was a disaster. Her voice was shot.
9.) Her father suing her for a hundred million bucks broke her heart.
10.) Bobby Brown was incurably envious of her fame, fortune and opportunities.

And the list goes on and on.

Moral of story: NEVER, NEVER, EVER feel envious of others' "supposed" great lives. Because we can NEVER, NEVER, EVER truly know what they're going through.

MISS HOUSTON, I hope and pray your soul is now at rest.

Sing on!

Sing on!

Saturday, July 7, 2018

I Won't Complain



Southern California is on FIRE!

And I AIN'T talkin' about our usual summer wildfires!

I'm talkin' the dang WEATHER!!!!

It was 114 degrees yesterday!

1-1-4 DEGREES!

WHAT THE @#$!????

Everybody and their mama is complaining about the heat.

But not I!

And I'm not complaining because I'd rather be in 114 degrees than 14 degrees!!!

I CANNOT take COLD weather!

No, ma'am!

So, right now, at 9:13 PM, it's a cool 87 degrees.

And I'm NOT complaining!

'Cause it sure beats 27, 37 or 47 degrees!

Yeah, it's hotter than hell and half of Georgia, but I'll take it!!!

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Lunch Dates

Former Patina All-Stars

Last Thursday, I met up for lunch with former catering coworkers, and what a true pleasure it was.

Besides seeing him on Facebook, I hadn't seen one of the fellas in dang near 16 years!!!

We met up at my new favorite spot, El Tejano. And it's only my favorite spot because it sells deeeeeeeeeeeelicious frozen margaritas!

It was great seeing everybody again. I had an opportunity to speak with each of them separately. Those conversations made me realize how blessed I am to think the way I do. What I mean is, I'm immeasurably optimistic even when circumstances would suggest I think otherwise.

Our conversations covered the spectrum: homelessness, depression, loneliness, family, unfulfilled dreams, etc.

As I listened to everybody's testimonies, all I could think was, "Universe, I am thankful to be me. As I am. And I look forward to all the great and exciting experiences coming my way."

Come on with it, LIFE...

C. A. MONTGOMERY JR is THANKFUL to be here!