7-Year-Rich!

In less than two hours, my church, ONE CHURCH INTERNATIONAL, will be celebrating its SEVENTH, glorious year in service to the WORLD!!!  Pastor Touré Roberts should be dang proud of himself for starting something out of nothing and serving the world sooooo graciously as a result!  I'm taking acting extraordinaire, Ulrich Que, as my guest to tonight's festivities!  I anticipate this is gonna be a COLOSSAL SUCCESS!!!!!  Happy 7th, One Church Intl!  There are 7X107 more anniversary celebrations ahead!!!  I just feel it!!!!

Could've Been Me

A friend passed along this short film for me to watch.  It's titled, THE ENDING.  I just got around to viewing it.  WOW!  All I can say is, WOW!!  The film's narrator could have been any number of cats I know.  Heck, he could have even been...me.  WOW!  There MUST be something GOD wants me to do in this life 'cause I'm STILL here.  And He knows I've experienced any number of situations that had a high possibility of being MY ending.

The Ending from Seek ThePoet on Vimeo.

You've Gotta, Gotta Have Friends!

And I...Will Always Love You

I'm sittin' here surfing YouTube as is my usual custom.  Since I've been reading so much about the remake of the film, SPARKLE, I have Whitney Houston on the brain.  This said, I've been Googling her and looking at tons of old and current photo images of her.  What a pretty lady.  Call me strange, but I actually thought for a moment, I wonder what she's doing right now.  I want so much for her to be absolutely incredible in this film.  I want to walk away from the theater like I did THE BODYGUARD, thinking that she couldn't have sung those songs any better!  I'm rooting for her.  Honestly, I am.    

The Social Network

I believe this social networking phenomenon allows the anti-social to feel social.  It allows the unloved to feel loved.  It allows the insecure to feel secure. It allows the undesired to know the desired.  And it allows the reverse of all the above.

A New Day

Well, I've been blessed to awaken to a new day this morning!  So, that means God has granted me yet another day to work towards living the life I seek.  The life I want.  The life I deserve.  The life I was born to live!  In just a few, though, I'm gonna walk out of my apartment and into the glorious sunshine I see outside my window!  I FEEL incredibly blessed.  Because I AM incredibly blessed!!!!!!

CAM Of Many Talents

I just returned from church.  And I have to admit, I saw a few signs there that my life is FINALLY heading into the right direction.  First, SHARON YOUNGBLOOD, a vocalist whose voice is sent straight down from Heaven, sang, AGNUS DEI, by Michael Smith.  This is a song I've been obsessed with lately after hearing a little Brazilian boy sing it on a singing competition show.  Secondly, today's sermon was about possessing multiple talents but only using one.  Touré, my pastor, said something that deeply penetrated my soul. He said that God doesn't like when he has given us five talents, but we only use one. He said that those of us who were blessed with multiple talents only utilize one because we don't have faith in the others. I was struck by his message that laziness is really fear. Fear of failure. And it's also masked depression. Which is also fear of failure. Hmm. --- Tonight I have a lot to plan. I have to plan how to share my knowledge about showbiz with the church. I have to plan how to market my multiple talents: voice-over, hosting, moderating discussions, creative writing, teaching & acting. I am blessed beyond description. I've allowed fear to stifle these blessings long enough. This week is gonna be somethin'. I sense it.

My Commitment Ceremony

Yesterday was a phenomenal morning and afternoon for me.  I attended the Wisdom Brunch For Men, sponsored by the church I attend, ONE CHURCH INTERNATIONAL.  The number of black men who attended this event was awe-inspiring!  Our pastor, Touré Roberts, and the day's guest speaker, Pastor Sergio De La Mora, of Cornerstone Church of San Diego, were sensational!  The message I walked out of the event with was that my life is NOT where I want it to be because of my lack of COMMITMENT towards making it so!!! --- Pastor Sergio's sermon, derived from the book of Daniel 5:18-28, spoke on the (5) ways to truly recognize "The Measure Of A Man:"

1.)  A man is measured by his ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
2.)  A man is measured by his CHARACTER.
-- "Character is who you are when nobody is around."
3.)  A man is measured by his COMPANIONS.
-- "Tell me who you hang with and I will tell you who you are."
4.)  A man is measured by his COMMITMENTS.
5.)  A man is measured by his CONCERNS.
-- "You know a man by what keeps him up at night."

I realize that my life---on many levels---is not what I want it to be because of a lack of commitment.  Hi, my name is, CAM, and I am commitment phobic.  My body isn't sculpted the way I'd 100% like because I am not committed to working out the way I'd need to to accomplish that feat.  I am not in a romantic relationship because I am not committed enough to do what's mandatory to keep anyone around.  Professionally, my life is devoid of fulfillment because I have not been committed enough to pursue what I want with even a modicum of focus.  Okay, that's not true.  Maybe a modicum.  But not much more.  And, the truth is, for whatever ridiculous reason, I harbor thoughts that I am not talented enough.  Or smart enough.  Or possibly even young enough to be sought after to do what I inherently know I CAN do!!  The ONLY person piling the mud onto my wings that keeps me from flying is I.  Period. --- Well, it's a new day.  And I STILL have breath.  Therefore, I can STILL make changes!  I promised myself after I walked out of yesterday's Wisdom Brunch For Men that CAM Jr IS worthy of EVERYTHING he wants.  Every thing I want.  And I'm going after it!  For the first time in a lonnnnng time, I'm COMMITTING myself to it!  Amen.

Sweet, Sweet Love

R&B recording artist, VESTA WILLIAMS, died last night.  Her body was found in a hotel room in El Segundo.  It's speculated that she took her life because a couple of empty, pill bottles were discovered in the room.  This story is sounding more & more like another R&B artist who did indeed take her life:  PHYLLIS HYMAN.  It was said that Phyllis took her life because she was exasperated with the state of her career and perhaps the lack of national recognition for her vast talent.  I wouldn't be surprised if we learn soon that something similar was the cause of Vesta's untimely death, too.  What I know for sure is that non-Caucasian performers of all stripes have a hard road to travel if they want to earn a comfortable living from their craft.  And I truly believe the reason is because the people who are in a position to make careers don't look like us.  So, since they don't see themselves or their siblings or their relatives or their close friends when they look at us, they don't have a desire to help us.  I truly believe that.  No, I won't stop pushing forward because I feel this way.  I'll continue marching onward.  But I'll always keep in my mind what's what.  --- Whatever Vesta's situation was, I hope & pray her spirit has sailed upward to complete & total FREEDOM.  'Cause, truth be told, "upward" is the ONLY place complete & total freedom exists.  Down here?  No way!  --- R.I.P. Vesta.  --- Read New York Daily News article HERE.

Never As Good As The First Time

The ORIGINALS in 1976

The NOT-SO-ORIGINALS in 2011

I'm not even going to give this new version of CHARLIE'S ANGELS the time of day because I loved the original one so much.  That was 35 yrs ago!!!  WOW!  Back then, the sun rose and set with FARRAH FAWCETT, JACLYN SMITH & KATE JACKSON.  I didn't throw out my scrapbook of the show until my actual graduation day from COLLEGE!!!!!  In 1986!!! --- In regard to this new version of the show, SADE sang it best...

My Faves

Stacy Francis

Chris Rene

I just finished watching the Premiere of Simon Cowell's THE X FACTOR!  And I'm happy to say that out of the Los Angeles auditions my two, favorite contestants are STACY FRANCIS and CHRIS RENE!  Stacy is a 42-yr-old, single mother of two, young children.  CHRIS is a 28-yr-old singer/songwriter who just got out of rehab and was only 70 days sober at his incredible audition!  I saw TERRELL CARTER perform, too.  He was fine, but not nearly as interesting to me as STACY & CHRIS.  I'll watch tomorrow to see what the next round of auditions offers.

My New Mantra

Reaffirmation

I know I am.  But, GOD, please show me the way!!!!!

Do Tell

It's OFFICIAL!  As of today, Tuesday, September 20th, the U.S. Government has lifted it's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy over its armed services.  Now, if you're gay and serving in the military, you can ADMIT it!  I hope that all those gay enlistees who worried about their enlistment can now breathe a sigh of relief.  NOBODY benefits from a life lived LESS than FREELY.  NOBODY!  

'Tis True

I won't fret about booking Q&A moderating gigs with SAG or hosting events with whomever else.  And the reason is because I know I CAN DO IT!  I know I CAN!  And I WILL!!!

The Help

This morning I treated myself to a helping of THE HELP!  Okay, so I treated myself to a viewing of the new film.  Either way, I enjoyed what I saw.  Viola Davis and Octavia Spencer were simply terrific!  Bryce Dallas Howard and Emma Stone were sensational, too.  One of my friends, Donald, isn't interested in seeing the film because of the way blacks are treated in it.  I understand that.  I think he's missing out, though, because the black characters in the film are courageous, hard-working and loaded with integrity.  Their jobs as house servants didn't define them.  Their characters did!!  Heck, I'd rather know THEM than a host of black lawyers and doctors out here in the world today!  

Of Thee I Sing

While driving home from Malibu last week I noticed a breathtaking sight:  what looked like a million flags on the expansive lawn of Pepperdine University.  The flags were placed there in honor of the lives lost in NYC on 9/11.  I'm tellin' you, as I drove past the school, I slowed down and looked on in amazement.  And with great pride.  If you're anywhere near Pepperdine anytime soon, check it out.  WOW!

My Sentiment, Exactly

...one of my most favorite sentences in all the English language.

Coming Of Age

Over the past thirteen years I have worked only God knows how many Bar Mitzvahs.  Last night added another one to the roster.  It was as harmless as they always are.  And it was filled with power brokers in the entertainment industry as they always are!  I have to admit, though, I wonder what it feels like to be born into economic privilege.  I used to joke with my mother that I was truly the son of Bill Cosby, so I'd appreciate it if she'd give me back to him.  Of course, that was years and years before his only son was murdered on a dark & deserted, Los Angeles street.  Be careful what you wish for, right?  Anyway, when I drove away from the party last night, I popped CeCe Winans into the cd player and peacefully listened to her stellar voice sing lyrics that reaffirmed for me that I AM privileged...JUST...AS...I...AM.

It's Our Anniversary

Today marks the 10th Anniversary of the tragic happenings of September 11, 2001.  The day the twin towers of New York City's World Trade Center were brought down.  The day America changed. --- I had been living here in Los Angeles a year and nine months.  A year and nine and a half months before that, I was living in Brooklyn, NY.  Timing truly is everything. --- Well, I received a call that morning that awakened me.  It was my sister, JOEY.  She was screaming on the phone that, "They're blowin' up your town!"  I immediately turned on the television and...was...SHOCKED!  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I wound up watching news broadcasts all day.  And all afternoon.  To ease the heartache, I agreed to meet, Scott, at a movie theater so we could just watch a happy movie:  Mariah Carey's, GLITTER.  And, truth be told, we liked the movie.  But when we returned home, I went back to the television and watched the news broadcasts 'til I fell asleep.  --- God bless those who lost loved ones in the tragedy.  And God bless those of us who felt their pain.  And prayed for them.

Final Declaration

...fly back to Indianapolis, IN to celebrate CHRISTMAS with my FAMILY this December.  No ands.  No ifs.  No buts.  

From MESS To MESSAGE

As I find myself fighting tooth & nail to change my current existence to the life I was BORN to live, I realize that my end goal is to one day share my journey with others; so that they might bypass many of my difficulties.  This MESS I've gotten myself into is setting me up for the MESSAGE I'll soon be able to share with others to enrich and enlighten THEIR lives.  I just KNOW it!  I just KNOW it!

I AM My Praying Grandmother

When I met singer, SCOTT A. PEOPLE, he opened up my life to sooooooo many new experiences and performers.  One of those performers was a gospel singer named, HELEN BAYLOR.  One day, while Scott had her cd playing, I heard the LIVE testimony of hers, during her concert.  WOW!  It moved me beyond description.  It spoke to the power of CHANGING one's life through ACTION...and...PRAYER.  I WANT/SEEK/NEED a life change.  I've already enlisted ACTION.  And I have also added PRAYER.  Now...what will be, will be. --- Take a listen to HELEN's testimony.  It might inspire you, too!  

Just Right!

I just left church an hour ago and feel compelled to share what I heard.

Pastor Touré Roberts introduced us to screenwriter, MICHAEL ELLIOT.

Michael is the writer of the films, Brown Sugar, Just Wright and Like Mike. His testimony was powerful. It illustrated that perseverance and commitment to an endeavor WILL bring about success. He touched on many of his ups & downs in show business before he found where he was supposed to be:  screenwriting.  What a powerful message he gifted us with.  I know MY life is SUPPOSED to be RICHER and MORE ABUNDANT than it is at present.  COMMITMENT is where I'm falling short.  Sticking to my writing deadline for my children's book is key.  It'll show what I'm made of!  And I know I'm made of MORE than I'm showing the world at the moment.  I have work to do.  And to that work I shall go!!!  --- Michael's testimony is below.

Motherless Child

From time to time, it's just what I feel.  And NOW is one of those times.  Just sayin'...

Oprah Winfrey LIVE!

Today, I made sure to set aside the hour from 1:30 PM - 2:30 PM so I could watch a live interview with Oprah Winfrey on Facebook.  As I am breaking into the world of moderating Q&A sessions, I couldn't help but wish I was Sheryl Sandberg during the hour.  Although she seemed a little starstruck, she asked questions intelligently.  The hour zipped by.  As everyone who knows me knows, I have a verrry soft, warm spot in my heart for Ms. Winfrey.  And today's interview made that spot even softer and warmer.  I wish her colossal success with OWN.  And sooner, rather than later, I hope to make a contribution to the network in the form of MY OWN talk show!  Or, at the very least, appearing as a host on SOME show on the network!  A man has to have dreams, you know!  Oh what a waste of space on this earth if all I did was think "realistically."

The Write Stuff

I'm sittin' over here, struggling to decide upon a name for my children's book collaboration with, Jabari.  Okay, so I've settled on one or two, but I keep changing my mind.  Truth be told, I oughta just WRITE the damn story first, THEN concern myself with a title.  How 'bout that????  Let me stop wasting time and get to writing!  But, dang, what will I call it?????

Malibu Dreaming

Last night I spent six hours in Malibu.  Yeah, I was in a condo, overlooking the ocean.  Yeah, I could see and hear the waves crash against the rocks below.  And, yeah, the whole while I was there I thought about living & entertaining in the joint.  I don't aspire to own a home in Malibu.  No, sir.  But I sure as heck wouldn't mind renting one for the summer!!!!!!!!!  

ME...and ONLY ME

It's rare, but some days I truly feel like the ONLY person on this planet is I.  Just me.  Alone.  Today is one of those days.  And, in all honesty...I don't know if this feeling is a good thing.  Or...not.  All I know is that it...simply...is. 

So Long, Ol' Friend

When my mother died 26+ years ago, I decided then and there that there wasn't any, human being I couldn't live without.  And, for the most part, I still hold that belief today.  What I didn't realize, though, is that what I meant is that I can live without anyone who DIES.  If the person is still alive, that changes things.  No, I'm not the kind of man who sits in a room, lamenting the loss of a relationship, days on end.  But I clearly realize today that I do miss particular friendships.  One such friendship ended recently when a friend of damn near 23 years told me that he no longer wanted to have anything to do with me.  His reasons were sound: he simply couldn't forgive some of the unfriendly conduct I've hurled his way over the years.  I get that.  But getting it doesn't stop me from wanting to BE friends.  That was then.  And I know for a fact I'd NEVER behave again as I had in the past.  However, my transformation is simply too little, too late. 

I wish my friend well.  Honestly I do.  And I shall continue to reach out to him, from time to time.  Whether he responds to my calls/texts or not.  'Cause truth be told...

...I'm so glad we've had this time together...