100% FAT FREE!

One of my dear friends has a problem.  Well, this particular friend has several problems.  But the one problem he has that truly amazes me is his homophobia. 

No, he doesn't think he's homophobic, but from many of the comments he's made over the years, I beg to differ.  Honestly, I don't think he has an issue with knowing gay men.  But I do think he has an issue with anyone thinking he might be gay. 

My friend weighs over 400 lbs.  Let me state that again:  my friend weighs over 400 lbs.  At 44 years old and no taller than 6'2", his 400 lbs are nowhere near muscular.  Nor toned.  Nor acceptable to any medical doctor with a medical degree.  Not even one procured online (if that's possible). 

I say all this to say that when I've mentioned this friend to my gay, male friends, they always ask me, "What does he look like?"  And when I describe him, every, single one of those friends just chuckles.  Why do they laugh, you ask? 

Because they know that at 400+ lbs, my homophobic friend is likely to be the largest human being in any predominantly gay, male setting; yet also the most invisible. 

The one thing he can rest assured about is that NO gay dude this side of Heaven would question his sexual preference. 

And, in all honestly, the reason is because NO gay male on this side of Heaven would CARE. 

At least, not one I know---have ever known---or am ever likely to know. 

Or even meet in passing. 

EVER!

What...?????

What am I gonna do with the $104 MILLION I win later tonight????  Huh????  Don't you worry.  I'll come up with SOMETHIN'!!!!!!!  Haaa!

Like Father...

As teenagers, my brother and I used to accompany our father on his various money-earning ventures.  Well, his manual labor, money-making ventures: mowing yards and cleaning buildings.  He'd give me five dollars for helping him mow the yards.  I got nothing for helping him clean the buildings.  Nothing monetary, that is.  But I did tell myself I'd never do that kind of work when I got older.  I would feel so bad for him when I'd see him get down on his hands and knees to clean the restroom floors of office buildings.  He never even cleaned his own house with that much attention to detail, I thought.  Well, fast-forward from then to now.  And, no, I don't work a job where I get down on my hands and knees to clean floors.  However, I DO serve.  Literally!  Food and drinks.  And, from time to time, I wash dishes and pots and pans and stovetops.  And all for a buck.  Just like Daddy.  One thing I know for sure is that we, as people, can say what we will and won't do till we're blue in the face.  However, we can NEVER know WHAT we'll do until there's NO BREATH in us.  And, even then, if there's no breath in us, we STILL won't know!  No one could ever have told me as a child that I not only received my father's name; I also received the fear he had of CHANGE.  And when one fears change, HOW, oh HOW does he CHANGE that????????? 

Good Night & Goodbye, Young Lady

Just this week I've noticed several people on Facebook expressing sorrow for the untimely death of an actress here in L.A.  They said so many nice things about her I had to look her up.  Her photos alone illustrate one heck of a young lady.  She died from a heart attack.  At 34 yrs old.  Wow!  I wonder if she had high cholesterol.  Or high, blood pressure.  Or diabetes.  Well, whatever the cause of her heart attack was, it's obvious to me that she was truly and deeply loved by those who knew her.  What more out of life could a person truly wish for?  I wish her spirit the very best.  And I hope & pray I, too, can be a blessing to the lives I touch on this planet as she apparently was!!!!!!!!  Good Night & Goodbye, MISS CHANE'T JOHNSON!!!!

The FIGHTER!

Last night I went to the Premiere of Mark Wahlberg's new film, THE FIGHTER.  I enjoyed the film.  Melissa Leo was terrific as his mom.  And the young ladies who portrayed his sisters were...uh..."interesting-looking."  Lol!  Anyway, after the screening, I went to the After Party.  Food was catered by Wolfgang Puck Catering.  I knew most of the cater-waiters working the event!!!  Well, this morning, I awakened to an uneasy feeling.  And, shortly after getting up out of bed, I hurried to the bathroom where I proceeded to hug the toilet bowl for waaaaaaaay longer than I cared to.  I mean, ALL that Wolfgang Puck crap fine cuisine came back to haunt me!  WTF!!!  I'm gonna take a long walk now so I can feel better.  I already feel better, but I wanna feel my optimum best.  Guess Mark Wahlberg isn't the ONLY fighter in this town!  Haa!

Don't Look Too Good, Nor Talk Too Wise

One of my Facebook buddies bought a new BMW 6 series converible two months ago.  And, just recently, while parked in his driveway, it was STOLEN!!!  GONE!!  VANISHED!  I have to wonder, if the vehicle was a Hyundai Elantra would it STILL be parked in his driveway this evening.  Goes to show you, that which is shiny and flashy catches the attention of folks one may NOT want to catch the attention of!  UNDERSTATEMENT is KEY!!!

So Very Very Thankful

My brother's S.U.V.

The hit-and-run driver's vehicle.

My brother texted me a couple nights ago that he had just been in an automobile collision and that the person who hit him fled the scene immediately afterward.  Can you believe that?  The person nails him and keeps going!  My brother's vehicle was too damaged to drive, so he was stuck at the scene of the accident until the police came.  Luckily, there was a witness or two who followed the hit-and-run driver to his apartment building.  They, in turn, led the police to his doorstep, too.  The guy's car was impounded, but he wasn't arrested at the time.  The police knocked on his door, but he wouldn't answer it.  So, my brother doesn't know what has happened with the case since then.  All he knows is that he's verrrry unhappy with the tiny, rental car he has right now till his SUV is fixed.  He said he's driving a Chevy Cobalt.  Haaa!  That's one of the rental cars I almost ALWAYS get when I rent!  And, no, I don't love the tiny vehicle, but it sure beats the heck out of hoppin' on a train or a bus!  --- I'm just happy my brother is fine.  I hope & pray the person who hit him feels some kind of remorse for what he did.  Because his actions were those of a person who couldn't have cared less what happened to anyone except himself.  And I don't want to believe that's the case.  I just don't. -- Oh...turns out the hit-and-run driver is a Mexican.  The police told my brother that he probably fled the scene because he is/was either a.) uninsured b.) unlicensed c.) an illegal alien d.) intoxicated --- or ---  e.) ALL of the above!  Geez!  Gotta love America!!!