Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire

Why can't a guy walk around his house naked without gettin' ARRESTED?  Geez!!!  Shouldn't the person peeking through his window get 'cuffed instead?  After takin' a look at this dude, though, I immediately knew it must have been a FEMALE or a JEALOUS DUDE who reported him to the police --- most definitely NOT a GAY guy!!!  Ha!