Professional Fulfillment...And...I

I am professionally unfulfilled.  I give gratitude to God & The Universe (if not one and the same) for all that I have and all that I am.  But...I want more.  And I want to be more.  Throughout my entire adult life, professional fulfillment has eluded me.  Well...that's not entirely true.  It has made several attempts to embrace me.  But it is I who eluded it.  I allowed FEAR to stop me from being all I can be.  Fear of change.  Fear of failure.  Fear.  No matter how I look at it, the fear was ONLY in my mind.  It didn't exist anywhere else.  I have endless conversations with my friend, Tyshawn, professing the desire to "shake things up" in my life.  I don't want to go back to catering.  I want to earn my money writing creatively.  I want to earn my money as a television personality.  A tv personality who simply is who he is.  Like Regis.  And Oprah.  And Tavis.  And Joy.  And Whoopi.  And the list goes on and on.  I want to be on that list.  This blog fills me with such purpose I find I never want to leave the computer.  That's what writing in a journal makes one want to do.  Makes you wanna keep writing what you feel.  Writing about who you are.  And who you want to become. -- I've sat here today, truly feeling a desperate need to break out of this current life and begin a new one!  And starting here...starting now...I am!  My mama didn't raise no fools.  And she didn't raise a son who would rely on the present day's answer to coping with life's unavoidable setbacks and disappointments...